pocketsnacks

i guess it’s not the kind of thing most people commemorate, but 3/31 is the aniversary of the day i (mostly) dodged a bullet.
as i was crossing fillmore street while waiting for my girlfriend (and on my way to see the ozric tentacles play) i managed to get grazed by a “stray” bullet that was being shot from down the block in the lower haight.
if it wasn’t for the fact that i am so skinny, and for the fact that i have studied keanu reeves technique in the matrix, i may have ended up with a chunk of hot dirty metal in either my arm or my chest.
but i am, i did, and i don’t.

for some people, such a close encounter with their mortality may have turned them to a pious life of faith - believing that it was an act of “the almighty” that did the saving.
to them i say “fuck off! if there was a god, he would have pushed you in front of a moving train years ago.”

after years of bitching about them and avoiding them and being somewhat of a luddite about them, i finally gave in the intense, mounting peer pressure and got myself a cell fone.
pretty fuckin’ wild huh?

yeah. not really.
it is not proving that exciting though because i get zero reception in my apartment.
none.
not even enough to call someone and come out sounding like a cheap robot underwater.
but whatever. it has all these special extra features that are pretty helpful.

it does my taxes.
when i talk into it, it tells me if i need to brush my teeth.
it counts calories and helps me avoid carbs.
and it keeps my pocket warm on breezy winter nights.

the future rules!

back in the 80’s i really wanted a men without hats t-shirt but was never able to find one. i’m sure i would have impressed everyone in my junior high if i had such a shirt and wore it. i did find a small button with the mwh logo on it at a weird little rock & roll collectables type shop in manhattan, somewhere on west 8th street. but that was already into the early 90’s - i was in college, and well, i couldn’t go around college in the 90’s wearing an oversized suit coat with various buttons on the lapel now could i?

so believe it or not, men without hats are still around (sort of) and still making music. so i bought their latest cd and a t-shirt featuring the latest rendidtion of their logo, from their website. in an ironic twist, i now wear a bowler hat quite often. when both the hat and the t-shirt are worn at the same time, they effectivly cancel each other out, ripping a small hole in the fabric of space and time, simply causing me to implode for a brief period of time!

so i seem to have this re-occurring dream.
well, it is only one “thing” that has happened in a bunch of my dreams, not a whole dream re-occurring.
it goes like this…
i am chewing on something - most recently it was gum - and at some point i encounter someone and wish to talk to them, but when i open my mouth, i find it is full of whatever i am chewing. full to the point where i can’t just spit it out, but have to reach in my mouth and yank out a hunk, and toss it away. however, that doesn’t do the trick. my mouth is still full and i cannot talk and it almost seems as if what i am chewing on is almost back to its original size.
kinda weird huh?
sometimes i yank and rip and yank and get enough out that i can spit it out and can talk, but it often takes a while and is very frustrating.
it almost always seems like there is far more in my mouth that what should be there.

now if i could only train myself to know that when that happens, i am dreaming!

if only there were a few more journalists out there like bill moyers we might not have such a large percentage of the population clueless about what the people in charge are up to. more so the people in charge might not be getting away with so much underhanded and sneaky crap, most often done in our name and with our money. it’s a bit long but worth the read-time.
In The Kingdom Of The Half-Blind

Originally uploaded by spongemonkey.

the future starts in just a few moments. please stand by.