pocketsnacks

i guess it’s not the kind of thing most people commemorate, but 3/31 is the aniversary of the day i (mostly) dodged a bullet.
as i was crossing fillmore street while waiting for my girlfriend (and on my way to see the ozric tentacles play) i managed to get grazed by a “stray” bullet that was being shot from down the block in the lower haight.
if it wasn’t for the fact that i am so skinny, and for the fact that i have studied keanu reeves technique in the matrix, i may have ended up with a chunk of hot dirty metal in either my arm or my chest.
but i am, i did, and i don’t.

for some people, such a close encounter with their mortality may have turned them to a pious life of faith - believing that it was an act of “the almighty” that did the saving.
to them i say “fuck off! if there was a god, he would have pushed you in front of a moving train years ago.”

after years of bitching about them and avoiding them and being somewhat of a luddite about them, i finally gave in the intense, mounting peer pressure and got myself a cell fone.
pretty fuckin’ wild huh?

yeah. not really.
it is not proving that exciting though because i get zero reception in my apartment.
none.
not even enough to call someone and come out sounding like a cheap robot underwater.
but whatever. it has all these special extra features that are pretty helpful.

it does my taxes.
when i talk into it, it tells me if i need to brush my teeth.
it counts calories and helps me avoid carbs.
and it keeps my pocket warm on breezy winter nights.

the future rules!

back in the 80’s i really wanted a men without hats t-shirt but was never able to find one. i’m sure i would have impressed everyone in my junior high if i had such a shirt and wore it. i did find a small button with the mwh logo on it at a weird little rock & roll collectables type shop in manhattan, somewhere on west 8th street. but that was already into the early 90’s - i was in college, and well, i couldn’t go around college in the 90’s wearing an oversized suit coat with various buttons on the lapel now could i?

so believe it or not, men without hats are still around (sort of) and still making music. so i bought their latest cd and a t-shirt featuring the latest rendidtion of their logo, from their website. in an ironic twist, i now wear a bowler hat quite often. when both the hat and the t-shirt are worn at the same time, they effectivly cancel each other out, ripping a small hole in the fabric of space and time, simply causing me to implode for a brief period of time!